I think the medicine is working.


Yesterday I got a ton of things done at work.  Then after work, I went to two stores.  This is a big deal for me.  I hate going to stores after work.  Something about the people walking all slow, yelling at their whiney kids who’d rather be home eating dinner is more than I can handle.  Last night, I wanted to go to a store, so I went home, got one of the kids(the one who doesn’t whine) and went to TWO STORES!

At one of the stores, I bought craft supplies.  To make paper turkeys for the employees on my team.  Thankful turkeys.  Yes.  Me.  Cutting out paper turkeys and writing on them “thanks for all you do” for my employees.  Who knew that I had it in me to even think of such a thing?

And also, I cooked dinner.  Real food.  Not just something I stuck in the oven from the freezer.

And on top of that, I made banana pudding.  From a recipe.  The banana pudding has sweetened condensed milk, whipping cream (that I whipped with the hand mixer) and other good stuff like that.

And I cut my son’s hair.

And still, I was in a good mood!  My son asked why I was in a good mood.  I told him I’m tired of feeling bad so I’m trying to feel better.  He smiled and hugged me. He quickly got back to normal, though.  No worries.  He was not abducted by aliens that forced him to hug me or anything.

Did you know that for the past several months (not sure how long exactly – seems that a fog is lifting and I cannot remember how long it’s been there), all I’ve wanted to do after work is go to sleep or read a book or just be alone?  That I struggled to find energy to interact with the kids, to cook dinner and to actually care whether the house is clean or the laundry is done?  I had to set reminders (alarms) on my phone to remind me that the toilet needed to be cleaned, the dishwasher turned on, the dogs fed and the trash taken out.  I’m not sure exactly what was going on.  I’ve just been in a funk.  Stress from parenting difficult children, single parenting in general, work, grief – all combined to create an overload for me, I guess, and I sort of shut down emotionally.

Well, I finally talked to my doctor about it last week and was prescribed some medication.  I’m also going to see a counselor to talk about all the stuff that has been pushing me over the edge.  In addition, I’ll be going back to my doctor for scheduled follow-up visits to make sure I don’t have adverse side effects from the medicine.

So far, I cannot see any.  Besides that I’m staying up a bit too late because I’m not tired when it’s bedtime.   🙂