I’ve been reading some new-to-me blogs lately. A lot of these new blogs are about stepfamilies and the problems/solutions within them. It’s been a long time since I posted about my divorce.
Here’s my short-story:
I divorced XH (final in July 2001) after he cheated with his current wife when they were both stationed overseas and I was stateside with the kids. They had a child together before our divorce was final and now have three children together. To say I was angry, hurt and felt betrayed is an understatement. I behaved badly and I’m not proud of that. I was struggling to get through it, to survive day by day, to raise the kids alone, to deal with it all. It was hard.
I am glad, though, that I got help and earned to deal with my feelings and that now I don’t feel those things and constantly live in a state of negativity. XH and I still have disagreements from time to time , but it’s nothing like before. XH’s wife and I now rarely have contact with each other. For the past few years, it’s been peaceful between us.
Visitation stopped when I quit offering to meet halfway and said that since XH was always 2 hours late getting to the meeting spot, I’d drive the kids all the way to his house if he’d drive them all the way home. They’ve not had an overnight with XH and his wife since August 2005.
XH has chosen to not be part of the kids’ daily lives. He sees them rarely and lives 5 hours away. In 2007, he saw them three times. Yes. Three. 1, 2, 3. Sad, huh? It is a source of anger, hurt, and sadness for the kids. And, since I want to protect them and believe that they deserve better, I sometimes feel those things too. I cannot understand how any parent can just walk away if it’s a few more hours to drive or requires a bit more planning to make time with the kids happen. But that’s another post for another time.