Youngest daughter just called the ex to ask him why he didn’t show up after telling her he wanted to spend the weekend with them this weekend.

She handed me the phone after a few minutes.

He told me that he has lots of responsibilities with the military right now and that he has his & his wife’s children (ages 5, 4 & 2) to take care of & that he doesn’t like to be around our/my kids (ages 13, 11, 10) because they don’t do everything he says without question.

He said this is because of how I’m raising them (to think for themselves). I don’t condone disrespect, but the kids have lost respect for him & it shows in their attitudes toward him. I encourage them to be respectful, but it’s a long uphill battle.

So, I told him that I’ve done the best I can as a single parent & will continue to do my best with them. I told him that it’s not my choice to parent them alone & that he has chosen to not coparent with me. I then said that when he thinks he is ready to see the kids, he can call & we will work out a time/place. He said fine & hung up.

I’m not sure what to do now. I guess I will keep on doing my best & just not think about him as a coparent. He’s chosen to not be involved in their lives. It’s like they don’t have a father. He doesn’t want to see them. It’s not pleasant for him, so he doesn’t want to bother with seeing them.

He is not the man I believed he was when I was married to him. I would have gone down fighting for my belief that he would be involved in their lives, that he would teach them, love them & make them a priority. I was wrong. For some reason, it’s really hard to be wrong about that. It stinks.